It's Lazy, It's Me!

In the interest of resuscitating the dying corpse that was my blog and my ability to tell my friends what's going on in my life even though I'm often too lazy to actually write a letter, here goes...

I've picked a new, sleaker format for the blog so as to intimate how truly new and sleek I am. Or just to change things up and nix the neon a little. Following the template of a letter I wrote to a one Mr. Karl Peter Paul (and Mary) Whittington some time ago, I am going to pontificate on my life in the nearly 7 months preceding this particular inspired ne' lackluster posting. From henceforward, useful categories shall deign what I find useful in my life in a lackadaisical chronological fashion. And, if at all possible, I'll stop using $5 words -- just had to get the lack of writing anything beyond blurbs out of my system.

Subsection 1: Education
Sayonara, bitches. I think I'm done being taught for the rest of my life. Unless, I decide I want to go into debt or feel dumb and frazzled again. Hats off to those friends of mine who are in grad school. You're much more masochistic than I am.

Subsection 2: Accommodation
Living in scenic Hell's Kitchen, at least for now. I have just received news that our 3rd roommate, Michael Bernard Rochon, who has been living with Timmy and me for about 4 months now, will be vacating the premises for green pastures and hipper hipsters in Bklyn. This puts us into quite a conundrum because $1,200 rent ain't easy to come by when you're just a lowly freelance peon (more on that after the jump), so we may be moving. I'm sure the leaky, non-flushing toilet, Tony the Super, and the mice that scamper and cavort around mockingly will miss us. Note: If you know anyone who want to sublet, send them here.

Subsection 3: Employment
Working several thankless jobs... Actually, take that back, today I did get thanked once.
1.) IN New York - After a brief stint in the horror of marketing, I clawed my way to the TOP! Or, as the masthead says, "Contributor." Currently, I am tenuously holding onto a spot as the Arts & Collectibles and Museums handler, which doesn't give me too much to do, but I have a lot of time to read Gawker. And I'm actually in charge of something, which looks impressive. I also come up with all of the ideas for our trivia page -- ask me for a random fact about NYC, I dare ya!
2.) Freelance editing - E! True Hollywood Stories book is almost complete. In just over 24 hrs, I will be well on my way to being a published editor and having a book that graces the 25-cent bins on the streets of NYC. And I know a lot about Paris Hilton, the Judds, JFK Jr., porn stars, et al.
3.) Alacare - Maximizing my youth and inexperience in the most nepotistic, exploitative way possible. Hey! Everyone needs health insurance! Thanks, dad!

Subsection 4: Connectedness in the Cold, Weary World
Two words: thefacebook.com and Friendster. I'm a really cute, socially scintillating loser, but I'm trying. I remain friends with most of my good friends from college and high school, as you do. I meet occasional oddballs who light up my day -- and some that steam up my nights, but new year-new me will definitely need to involve meeting people and getting some seriously sweet lovin'. Which is hard when this is on... and so is this. But enough of that.

Subsection 5: Ass-Wigglin' & General Gallavantry
After finishing the pre-edit manuscript of my novel circa Dec. 9, I have been on a rampage of gluttony, debauchery and heinous travel delays. First, the big ole' family trip up to NYC, holiday-style! It's always a good sign when your mother starts to cry because, at 22, you're so jaded it frightens her and the next night you tell your brother to "Shut the fuck up" in the Rainbow Room. So that went well.
Then home on a whirlwind tour of Bham which featured not nearly enough of my downhome lovahs, D-Salt and SareBear. Home for another hot-tastic working week topped off by the exploits of a New Year's Eve party fashioned almost entirely to avoid the melee of Times Square -- mission accomplished.
Then to VEGAS! to see THE GREATEST SINGER IN THE WORLD! I cried. I'm a pansy, but damn it was good. Then some Cirque du Soleil -- I might have felt trite, but I was wowed. The trip was sinfully delicious. At two points, I even won about $50, and I think I came home (after a long-extended layover in Dallas and the chances to watch not only A Cinderella Story but also Sky Captain & the World of Tomorrow) with about $30 buck extra in my pocket. Ha-cha.
Last weekend was the occasion for more drunken debauchery back at the old alma mater. Ms. Abbie Beane was gracious enough to host us and lead the charge in the pre-meditated murder of both a Fifth of Jaegermeister and almost all of a huge handle of Jose Cuervo. Whoops! Though there was no sexy vomming on sidewalks (or anywhere for that matter), I think I did any random freshman passing by and looking for guidance a little good. It was the least I could do to lead them into temptation.
Next up: After hopefully seducing Brian from Cork at The Gaf on Thursday, Ms. Katie Curler and I sojourn to Boston to meet up with the always ebullient B-Dizzle and crash the beautiful (and not slum-like at all!) apt of Cristophoro Ricardi! The occasion? To commemorate a 35mph tidal wave of MOLASSES! As is only right. There will be ... need I say it?... debauchery.
Then? I think liver detox, maybe rehab... We'll see.

Subsection 6: Current General Faves, in the key of A(BBA)
Take a Chance on Me
Thank You for the Music
Knowing Me, Knowing You
The Winner Takes It All
Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! (A Man After Midnight)
Voulez-Vouz?
I Have a Dream
The Name of the Game