Thus commences the rampage
i.e. Lanford gets fucked

Some of you may be wondering what today's earlier post meant -- though I honestly doubt that anyone checks the blog that frequently.

I had an internship with Fairchild Publications. It wasn't paid, but I would be a good writing opportunity and a large, respected corporate entity -- excellent resume builder.

But, boys and girls, I use the word 'had' because it is no more. I do not have an internship with Fairchild Publication, I had one.

It's a long and twisted story, tears were involved and I'm gonna be walkin' with my head down for a while now...

Here it goes...

I get my internship offer from Fairchild about 2 weeks ago via e-mail. I accept and talk to the HR person. I do mention that I might need 2 weeks off in the middle of the summer, and I say I will call her back with further details. I do not call her back; rather, I e-mail her and my supervisor. Apparently neither of them got an e-mail, so she calls my cell phone (which is not the phone # on my resume or the one that I gave her at the interview). The problem? I don't ever turn on my cell phone. Thus, I never got the message that tells me I have a time limit to call her back and stake my claim on the job. She does not send me an e-mail replicating these sentiments. So, today I get a message on my school phone (the # on my resume and the one that I gave her at the interview) saying that I no longer have an internship with them because I didn't call them back and that the position has been filled by someone else.

There aren't enough expletives.

I am jobless and worthless. And I am pissed.

The whole thing is just so fucking nonsensical. On the one hand, it is not her responsibility to be in charge of me and make sure I check my cell phone. On the other hand, why does she leave the first message on my cell and the second on my real phone? Consistency, Rena Kokolari, consistency! And why doesn't she at least type me a quick e-mail to double check... or get one of their interns -- which I SHOULD BE! -- to type it to me???? I should have called them, I admit, but I sent an e-mail and I had no idea that a.) they didn't think I was on board or b.) that they would revoke my offer after one missed message.

This sucks.

The distant possibility comes in the form of the Village Voice. They send me this e-mail about a week ago:

Good news: you have not yet been rejected from our summer internship program!

Sadly, though, this is not an acceptance letter. It is merely to let you know that we appreciate your waiting. You have made it past the first few rounds of scrutiny.

We will have our final decisions ready within the next few (2 or so) weeks.

Please do not call to ask us to hurry. We know that we have to hurry. It pains us to make such good applicants wait so long for news. But we are moving as quickly as we can. We promise.

I'm not holding my breath because that would imply I value myself at all right now, but wouldn't that be an act of divine providence? I'm sure I won't be able to write at the Village Voice, but it's the Village Voice...

So, I'm still pissed and I'm still fucked. I'm grasping for straws and feeling short of breath right now. And I've totally lost all motivation to do any of my work, which is so ridiculous, but seriously, I reiterate that this sucks.

Maybe I'll just get a job at Starbucks and be a normal person for a summer. But why the hell should I have to? I did everything I should have, I went to New York for those bastards, I have been paying my dues... and all for naught, all for naught.

My life just crashed in around me. Thanks, Fairchild Publications. **hyperventillating**

Music of the Moment

1.) Still Not a Player - Incubus Feat. Big Pun
Brandon Boyd, hard rock-rappin-scratchin... really what else do you need?

2.) Like I Love You (Basement Jaxx Vocal Mix) - Justin Timberlake
Hotness, I should be working out listening to this song

3.) To Love Somebody - Clay Aiken
Performed on last night's American Idol: frickin' amazing! I'm achin' for Aiken all over -- mold me, Clay!

4.) More Than This - Norah Jones
She likes to do covers, and rightly so, Norah is one class act

5.) Die Another Day - Madonna
America hates it, I love it ... 5 months later!

6.) Just Missed the Train - Kelly Clarkson
Clay all the way, but Kelly will always be my American Idol! And I'm just catching the drunkenness references, good call K-dogg!

7.) Lifelines & Freedom - D8
I only have 30 seconds of each song, but they're amazing. Ricky Spero, I don't like you like that, but I'd make out with your arrangements... hmmm, double entendre -- eep!

8.) Ain't No Mountain High Enough - Marvin Gaye & Tammi Terrell
Next year's On Tap senior dance -- too appropriate! "Everything Old Is New Again": good Spring show 2004 theme, yes?

9.) Don't Let the Bastards Grind You Down - The Toasters
An oldie but a goodie, introduced to me by a one Miss Margaret (Soon-to-be-Darcher) Harris. I play this song from the rooftops in honor of the bureaucracy of Middlebury campus, championed by the Finance Committee who won't let us use our own money. And then refuse to give us more that we can not use because we didn't spend it all this year. Thanks, FuCkers... (Whoa, that suddenly got bitter, hehehehe angel laugh)

10.) Pop - *NSync
Here's a novel idea:
"Let's get the girls of On Tap to dance for the Brainerd commons dinner."
"What will they dance on, crazy poetry lady? The floor's carpeted."
"Give 'em plywood, they'll make do."
"Check."
In the words of some Conrad character (Kurtz?), "The horror! The horror!"

And now I'm off to watch someone get booted off American Idol... I'm thinkin' it's gonna be Kim Locke even though she's a good kid; she just can't compete with the Marine fan-base... It's one more mafia in America. I myself prefer the Velvet Mafia... on some occasions the Jewish Mafia (but only if Adam is in my dance class wearing sunglasses for no apparent reason...).

Hasta luego, amigo/as!

My 2 Cents
a.k.a. don't start an amateur winery in your dorm room, fool!

So... for the past two days, my doorway has been filled with the stench of rotting putrefaction. No, it is through no fault of my own. However, the stupidity quotient at Middlebury College did just hit an all-time high. Apparently, the pungent odor of dead carcasses lingering in front of my door was caused by the kid 2 doors down (which I might mention is going to be MY room next year) in his failed attempt to ferment wine in his room. One of the bottles crashed down on his Pizza Hut carpet the other night and left the as-yet-to-be-seeds of rot-stink in his room. The irony of it all is that the kid can't smell! So, while we have been plugging up our noses while going to the bathroom and walking to and from our rooms, he's been luxuriating in the rancid fruits of his labor none the wiser.

Why the hell, I ask, does any Middlebury College need to ferment his own stinkin' wine when he can buy a cheap bottle from the Vermont Liquor Outlet? And furthermore, even if he can't smell the faint-inducing odor, his friends and girlfriend have perfectly functional noses -- where have they been?

What the fuck?

Ridiculous...

So, what's up other than that in my little old life?

Today marks the last week of classes. I am 6 pages away from being completely done with my Social Psych class, and 10 pages and 2 classes away from being done with the dirty hippies. The other classes not so close, but no worries.

On the TL front, it is abundantly clear that we will not be tangling tongues this year (or ever), but my heart still belongs to him. However, my attentions are wandering to another ambiguously gay Otter named Boomer. I want to use him up, bring him out (of the closet) and make TL jealous. To paraphrase Ally McBeal, "I like being pathetic, it's who I am."

What else?

On Tap show was last Thursday. It was good; no major scandals. I got to dress punk and bring hip-hop to the whitest bunch of white girls I know.

Went to see The Pianist yesterday -- my 2nd time. Adrien, you are a modern-day Jewish Adonis! He's just amazing. If I could make him orgasm like those raspberries, I'd be a woman to contend with.

Also, everyone needs to go to the Pre-Date Confidence Booster site. It's friggin' hilarious. My favorite by far is "How do I look in this outfit?" I, my friends, am the Sexy Canyon. Also, go to main site and check out "How To Impress Your Date" -- #4 & #8 are good'uns.

So, that's about all I'm gonna say tonight. Probably not so satisfying for the fact that I've been out of comission for over a week, but such is the way of the moose (that's me).

One last thought: Right now I'm reading a book called Rat Bohemia for gay class. Who would have ever thought a book with such a heinous title could be so absorbing. It beats the crap out of some of my other reads right now: The Brazilian Empire and The Social Construction of Reality, for instance. I also read Angels in America for gay class -- intense.

That being said, I'll put an end to my ramblings and take pity on your poor eyes. Take care, over and out...