Extra, Extra: Read All About It

Again, in my quest towards being well-read, I post these articles, which I have found interesting for one reason or another. Read one, read all of 'em! Bless you, my children.

Face the Nation
Dead Parrot Society
A few days ago The Washington Post's Dana Milbank wrote an article explaining that for George W. Bush, "facts are malleable." Documenting "dubious, if not wrong" statements on a variety of subjects, from Iraq's military capability to the federal budget, the White House correspondent declared that Mr. Bush's "rhetoric has taken some flights of fancy."
Reading all these euphemisms, I was reminded of Monty Python's parrot: he's pushing up the daisies, his metabolic processes are history, he's joined the choir invisible. That is, he's dead. And the Bush administration lies a lot.

White House Keeps a Grip on Its News
a.k.a. Good Ole Boy Gestapo
"If the National Hurricane Center were as stingy with its information, there would be thousands dead," John Roberts, the senior CBS News White House correspondent, deadpanned in his West Wing broadcast booth the other day.
Mr. Roberts may have been joking, but the sentiment was real. "Ari [Fleischer, Midd alumnus & White House Secretary of Press] has the uncanny ability to suck information out of a room," he added.

Wars of Nerves
Written before the snipers were captured.
Finally, whether or not this shooter is a twisted copycat, he is part of a larger post-9/11 trend. That trend is the steady erosion of our sense of security, our sense that while the world may be crazy, we can always crawl into our American cocoon, our sense that "over here" we are safe, even if "over there" dragons live.
Well, "over here" is starting to feel like "over there" way too much. Over there, they just shot up U.S. marines guarding Kuwaiti oil fields, but over here, when I filled my car with gas the other day, I ducked behind a pillar so no drive-by sniper could see me; others hide in their back seats. Over there, Saddam terrorizes his people, but over here, my kids are now experts in the fine distinctions between Code Blue and Code Red. Code Blue means they're locked in their public school building because a potential shooter is in the area, and Code Red means they are locked in their classroom because there may be a gunman in the building.

In My Neck of the Woods
Extracurricular Task: Testing Condoms
Fun Fact: Britain has Western Europe's highest incidence of teenage pregnancy, with 95,000 recorded in 2000.
Fun Fact: Last year, Britain's biggest condom seller, Durex, carried out a global survey that found people were having sex on average 97 times a year, with Americans leading the way with a frequency of 124 times a year.

Human Interest
Your Call. Everybody’s Business.
Occasionally, the cellphone user tries to keep his voice to a whisper, or he glances over and says, "Sorry, I'm not talking to you." But that doesn't stop him from discussing his last visit to the urologist.
So why stave off the inevitable? We need to tear down the last vestiges of decorum. Let us lay our lives bare. Let us proudly tell the world (and the people riding with us in the elevator): "Yes, I have a cellphone. Yes, my wife wants me to bring home a quart of milk. And, yes, we secretly like to dress up like Santa and Mrs. Claus."
In this article are some suggestions for increasing openness.

Gay History is Still in the Closet
It is unlikely that these pioneers will be honored with a postage stamp. Gay and lesbian leaders have yet to find a place in the civil rights pantheon.
The silence about gay history persists because teaching this subject raises anxieties about promoting homosexuality. Countless school boards have decided that young people must be protected from positive information about the gay community lest they be converted to that "lifestyle."
"Gay-straight alliances" do exist in some 800 high schools. But support groups and lectures about preventing homophobic violence are just the first step toward presenting a full picture of gay and lesbian lives. No other group is subject to such a blackout of its past.

The Myth of ‘18 to 34’
By 1960, though, when Bill Bernbach, the man generally credited as the father of Madison Avenue's ''creative revolution,'' placed a photo of a Volkswagen just above the large-type word ''Lemon'' (an event that had roughly the effect on advertising that the 1913 Armory Show had on the history of American art), the pendulum had begun its long swing from paternalistic notions of brand loyalty to exuberant iconoclasm. The advertising industry ushered in its own version of the Age of Aquarius, in which youthfulness -- being young, thinking young, speaking young, buying young -- was all.
Thomas Frank, in his brilliant study of 60's advertising, ''The Conquest of Cool,'' offers the example of automobile ads; in the 40's and 50's they preached reliability and endurance (a typical ad might picture a happy nuclear family out for a Sunday drive), but in the 1960's they suddenly aspired to the symbolism of revolution: Oldsmobiles were rechristened ''Youngmobiles,'' consumers were exhorted to join the ''Dodge Rebellion'' and as staid a make as Buick promised consumers ''Now We're Talking Your Language.''

Over in the Elm City - Yale Daily News
The Superhighway to Lurrvvv
I can't deny that there's a certain mystique, a magical quality of attraction that would be lost if one relied on Bulldoggystyle.com (BDS). "DoggyStylers" would be shunned, seen as gimp lovers. I can see the taunts now -- "Hey man, you gonna bursar a blowjob, hahaha." But, let's get this straight: all you Bulldoggystyle.com naysayers need to stop sippin' on the Haterade. Getting ass at parties isn't about being good-looking -- it's about sensing surrounding blood alcohol content: BACdar, if you will.

This Column May Be Offensive
a.k.a. Stalking 101
Anyone can ask a girl on a date, but it takes a truly committed person to build a relationship on uncertainty, fear and cryptic threats of physical violence. C'mon guys, show her that you care, and be sure to wear a ski mask.
I can't tell you the number of people who have come up to me on the streets and said, "Bradley, this stalking thing is great! I'm in the best shape of my life! Why, I feel like I'm 13 again!" Granted, many of these people actually did believe they were 13 again, and that they shared direct telepathic links with Lucifer, but you just can't argue with results, people.
In closing, I would like to say simply that you ladies shouldn't feel left out. That's the great thing about maniacally following people. It's for everyone! Why do you think I joined the Yale Daily News? You get to meet tons of new people, "walk them home," and watch them sleep at night. My best advice is, just have fun with it, wear kneepads, and pursue whomever you want. That is, of course, unless you want to stalk me. In which case, all I have to say is, "Get in line, honey. Get in line."

WGST273a: Getting barefoot and pregnant
I love being a girl. I love pedicures, frozen yogurt and flat irons. At some point I may well have loved Tiger Beat. I love cooking, especially foods with cute names like "popover." I adore cashmere. I think boys are "dreamy." I prefer skirts to pants, pink to blue, Cary Grant to Rupert Everett, and silk to flannel. What's more, I just won't let that archaic chivalry thing die.
But people at Yale refuse to see the traditional girly-girl as a valid person.
Why?
It's not that I'm trying to live like the past 50 years never happened. I want guys to see me as an equal, but that doesn't mean I want to be less of a girl. And to tell you the truth, if I felt like being "liberated" from anything it'd be having to open my own car doors. Besides, my bras are all way too pretty to burn and leg hair nauseates me.